Ah yes, I was waiting for that.

So I finally lost it here today, for the first time. I know this may be hard to believe, but before today, I had yet to cry here. I cried when I left my house and said bye to my parents, but after that I was all business. Got to get to the right gate, gotta make sure I have my tickets, gotta find my seat, gotta get some sleep while possible, gotta wait in the airport for 7 hours (my arrival was kind of anti-climatic in a way, since so much of my first day was just spent in the airport), gotta catch my next plane...I was slightly apprehensive when landing in Bucaramanga because it occurred to me that if the people who were supposed to pick me up did not in fact do so, I had no idea where to go. Yet I didn't shed a tear, not a single nervous tear. There was no time to cry, I had to make sure everything was in order.

Even after settling in here (it's now been a month and a half) I had yet to be driven to tears by homesickness or frustration. Today, though, I started to lose it on the bus on the way home from school. A combination of things had built up and finally needed a release. One of the major factors was the stress of figuring out everything that was required of me to register with DAS (which is basically like the police) that I am living/working here.

I forgot to mention that I did get my visa (a process that involved less headaches than expected--but I guess the gods were just saving the headaches for me at DAS) so I am legal to work here. The catch is that you have to register with DAS within 15 days of getting your visa so you can be issued a foreigner ID. The AIESECers charmingly failed to mention this to us until a week before our time was up (actually without them I don't know how we would have known we had to do it at all) so we were rushing to get copies and photocopies of all the various documents necessary. This included my passport, my visa, a copy of my blood type (goes on all IDs here--they find it odd we don't do it in the US, but good thing I randomly had my Red Cross Blood Donor Card in my wallet), proof of affiliation with AIESEC, photos of various sizes that were mate not glossy (had to find the one place in town that does that), the receipt that I paid the roughly $60 this thing is costing me at a specific bank and a copy of the application for the cedula.

I did in fact manage to gather all these things and get them to DAS the very last day I had to get them in. Miraculously, I had all the necessary papers and just had to wait for the DAS people to sort everything out, take no less than four sets of my fingerprints which they put on papers of various sizes that will be used for unknown purposes, fill out a form telling them where they should deliver my cedula, and I was issued the temporary one. How long it will take for the real one to arrive I don't know and I don't care because I'm not going to be deported (and I totally bonded with the DAS lady, she was calling me Teresita before all this was through)!!

So that all ended up working out fine I guess, but was really quite stressful. The AIESECers that were supposed to be helping us were rather MIA and as typical of here everything happened late.

I also got upset today about my Saturday class. Not only am I extremely frustrated with Level 1 and the amount of time I have to do the impossible, I am mad because my class is on a different schedule than everyone else's. My session started 2 weeks after the other one, so while everyone else was doing final exams today I was still teaching and will be next week and then the following week will be the exams.

This means literally every other teacher gets next Saturday off, as well as next Monday before the new weekly session starts too. This makes an extremely rare 3-day weekend that some friends are going to use to travel to Bogota, that I do not get because my class is still going on. Besides learning Spanish, my other main goal in coming here was to see as much of Colombia and South America as possible, but working 6 days a week is rendering this nearly impossible. Also, a familiar face would be a godsend right about now.

I also am experiencing frustration yet again over the language barrier. I have come to love everyone in my house and really enjoy being around them, minus the fact that 75% of the time I have no idea what's going on. I have realized that the AIESECers and other friends of mine talk sloooooow so that I can understand. But when I am just trying to observe normal conversation, most goes over my head. I feel like I have no personality here because I can't communicate effectively and say the things I mean in the right tone so they mean what I what them to. I'm afraid I come off rude and ungrateful when actually I'm just clueless. And it is rather lonely to be sitting at a table of people roaring at a joke you have no hope in understanding, so you just smile slightly into your soup and continue eating, feeling like a fool.

I could really use a hug. And a bear.

Pero no comes sardinas!

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, which I was surprised to find was less of a big deal than I would have anticipated in an all Catholic country. Mass (at 6:30am!!!) was all business, finishing quite quickly so those that had to get on to work wouldn't be late. We also had communion without any Presentation of the Gifts/Eucharistic Prayer. The priest just barreled through the Our Father and that was that, communion time. Didn't seem regulation, but then again there are quite a few things about Colombia that aren't regulation.

I was also surprised to see that not many around the city had ashes. I feel like I typically see more smudged foreheads in Irish Catholic land aka St. Paul than I did here (Madison was always a different story-I always got quite a few "umm you have something on your forehead"s while walking around campus.) Not exactly what I was anticipating in a country where the inside of buses are clad with crosses, icons of Mary and prayers stamped on the walls.

Since I was up so early I figured I'd just get my run out of the way early so I could shower and go back to bed. Before I headed upstairs for a snooze, I wanted to clarify with Glo that they wouldn't be cooking meat for lunch. When I asked her, she looked at me like I had just landed here from the moon. Then a look of comprehension came upon her face and she said "Ahhhh, si, hoy es miercoles de ceniza....pero no comes sardinas!" I could see her brain ticking "what am I going to feed this girl?! She won't eat meat and she doesn't like sardines (can you blame me?!)!" Then she suggested 'huevos?' And I said si, huevos estan perfectamente bien.

I actually ended up being served some question mark brand of fish that tasted quite nice (looked kinda sketchy though, so I don't think I'll be asking what it was). I really hope we don't have to repeat this scene every Friday for the next 40 days.

I also had trouble finding something meatless to eat for dinner last night after the soccer game. I went to the Bucaramanga v. Barranquilla game which was quite fun despite the fact that because Bucaramanga finished last in Division I last year they got kicked out for this season and now play in Division II. The stadium wasn't nearly full, but there was a section across from where we were that was packed with jumping, likely intoxicated, singing, chanting fans. My friend Mayo told me that they get paid by the team to travel to the away games and generally cause a rukus. Looked like a lot of fun to me!!!

Fans by us were generally stationary but did enjoy shouting streams of Spanish profanities when the team did something unfortunate. It was scoreless until nearly the end, when Bucaramanga got a goal off a nice crossover shot made from the left corner. There were virtually no fans from the other team, so don't worry Daddy, I didn't get caught in a riot. And there were plenty of po around in full riot gear to keep the peace.

I hope to make it to a Colombian national game before I leave here, but they play in Bogota so I don't know if that'll be possible. Watching the game last night really made me miss playing though...there's a severe satisfaction that comes from giving the ball a resounding kick halfway across the field. Probably can't kick as good as I used to though, like back in the day where people on my own team cowered away from the ball when I took a goal kick.

PS Pei and I have become somewhat like celebrities around here....so far we've appeard in three newspapers (two issues of the university one and another similar to The Villager in STP or The Isthmus in Madison.) I'm getting quite sick of randos taking my picture and sticking it in a paper and randos on the street being like you're the girls in Gente! Yes, yes we are, thank you, good day.

Como se dice cuddle en espanol?

Sample answers from my Saturday Level 1 class:
In response to the question "What does your teacher look like?"

She's nice, intelligent but boring.

My teacher is muy good, intelligent, generous, etc.

My teacher is intelligent, she is tall, she is shir llelo.
In response to the question "What is your mother/father like?"

My father and mother are very happy of have, they are person very very good, generous, intelligent, nice.....

My father's like, He's young, tall and atractiv

and my personal favorite:
My mother is the house and the pool.
My father is the pizza and much.

Soooooo as you can all see, I’m having immense success in teaching the basics of the English language to those who previously knew (still know?) nothing. Saturday classes pretty much just blow any way you try and slice the pie, because there is just way too much to teach in one day. Last Saturday, I taught no less than 6 unrelated things (I think my book invented some of them by the way, has anyone ever heard of verbs of movement or static verbs before? The most obscure things were included in that lesson….) in one class period. Saturday classes are 38 hours just like weekly ones, but the difference is the fact that students are expected to absorb two entire units worth of material in one day, rather than just a bit each day. This leaves us with virtually no time for review, which obviously doesn’t bode well for their retention levels.

Weekly classes have been going well. I still adore my conversationers. We had a debate last week on Hugo Chavez and I was so proud of them!!! They all actually spoke (I have a few shy ones) and had clearly prepared their material. Not everything they said made perfect sense but I didn’t care. They had clearly invested themselves in the activity and were trying. I also secretly have two favorites (one kid who almost joined the army and wasn’t going to come back and I was sad) that I want to date because they are adorable…..but that is another story (Molly feel free to call out creeper on that one.)

I don’t have the energy just now to rant about my Level 9. Let’s just say one girl showed up today for the first time in two weeks to tell me that she was in the class, when could she take the quizzes and actually she had to go and couldn’t stay for class today.

Weekends are relished because usually it’s hard to get together with all my friends during the week when they have work and school. Friday nights are usually pretty lame cuz I work til 8pm and then have to be back at school at 8am, but this weekend I went out to dinner with a friend who speaks in Spanish with me so that was fun. I feel pretty accomplished after holding up the conversation for several hours. Saturday night involved dinner with the AIESECers followed by chilling in the street just chatting for several hours (no open intoxicant laws here, btw.)

Sunday began lazily at home, a huuuuuuge lunch eaten at the dining room table (a first we usually eat at the smaller table) because it was one of my roommate’s birthday. It was pretty cute actually, even though I didn’t understand much of what was said as usual. Then I went to Cabecera, B/manga’s equivelant to Uptown or State Street and spent the afternoon with friends. Ended the evening by watching a pirated DVD The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with four gay boys. I taught them a new word in English: cuddle. There's no equivelant in Spanish, unfortunately. Major oversight of the language.

It was a solid weekend.

Happy One Month

So I realized I haven't been blogging about my actual life activities lately, and since today is my One Month Anniversary of being in Colombia, I thought I'd let ya'll know what I've been up to.

Last week I started teaching full-time, if you can call it that. I have class at 4pm and 6pm, meaning I'm really only teaching 4 hours a day. I am developing a nice little routine though and no longer feel as useless as I was the last 3 weeks.

I usually set my alarm for about 9am (if you are aware that one of my best talents is sleeping, this is a big step for me) so I don't waste away my morning in bed. I usually spend a bit of time on the computer before going on my run. Then I shower and get to work on class planning. I'm hoping to have most of this laid out this week for the rest of the session, so I won't feel as stressed every day (then I'll need to find something else to do with myself during the day but I'll deal with that when I get there.) Lunch happens anywhere from noon to 1:30. I head out to catch the bus at about 3:15 to get to school on time.

I am teaching Conversation Two and Level 9. I LOVE my conversation class. My students range from probably about 14 to about 25, but are mostly teenagers. Many of them are friends because they've taken so many classes together, which makes a nice boisterous classroom environment.

At first I was scared of teaching this class because there is literally no plan. Besides being required to administer the Michigan Test (proficiency exam) and have them complete a final speech and essay, I have NO guidelines. 38 hours to fill with activities....ready GO. I am actually really enjoying that I have control, and that we get to do fun activities rather than just grammar.

My Level 9 class IS basically purely grammar, which makes it more difficult to teach and to have fun with. It's also from 6-8pm, which means most of my students are tired from their days and just want to go home. This class also doesn't have the same type of environment as my conversation one, which makes it harder for me to encourage people to have a good time. I don't know about you but the past perfect and past perfect progressive don't make me split my sides laughing. Watching my conversationers act in their self-crafted soap operas does, however.

I'm also still pluggin' away at my Saturday class (que tragica that the earliest I get up all week is on SATURDAY) which is challenging because of the level and the timing. I only get them once a week for 4 hours, and because of this we generally have no time for reinforcement or review. I have to teach more than one unit a day, whereas for the daily classes I have nearly a week.

We're getting into more complex things (ok not THAT complex, it is level 1) now that are harder for me to explain and harder for them to understand. I really hope half the class doesn't fail...... Both the written and oral finals are standardized, so they must pass these in order to move up. The oral exams are administered by another teacher to ensure you have no bias.

After looking at some of their first quizes it is clear that some of the concepts they have literally NO grasp of, and generally the ones they do execute succesfully are because they have memorized common dialogues we've been using, not because they actually understand what the words mean. Great.

During the week my night class goes til 8 and then I take the bus home. The direct route stops running right at 8, so I have to take one bus to the main drag and then hop on another to my neighborhood. Kind of a pain but still cheaper than a taxi. Then I eat dinner (usually everyone else has already eaten, although sometimes one of my roommates gets home around the time I do) and do more planning/gchatting/skyping.

So that is school so far....I'll write again soon with updates from other aspects of my life here!!

Don't judge me

Taking a leaf from Gin's book, I decided my blog was a mildly less obnoxious and self indulgent place for this list than the fbook. And I was super bored on my run (I now get bored before I get tired) so I spent it thinking of things.

25 things you may or may not know/care to know about me

1. Pie is the best dessert known to man. Why anyone would want a birthday cake instead of a birthday pie is beyond me. Colombians don't really do pie and it is que triste.

2. I love both calling people and being called by nicknames. My housemate just gave me my first Colombian nickname: Teresita.

3. The only live animals I like are horses and pandas. I will one day own a pet panda and it WILL love me and not maul me like so many of you love to suggest when I express this desire.

4. Going along with the above, I enjoy all types of stuffed animals/soft things that were never, are not and never will be alive. When I'm home I regularly still sleep with them (I think I may have had a fear as a child that someone was going to attack my head/neck, because I usually sleep with stuffed animals there.)

5. I played the classical piano for 12 years. Well, too. I often wonder what would have happened if I had made it my life like my teacher so wanted me to. It is also from piano that I developed a fear of any sport where things fly at my hands/wrists, for fear of breaking one of them and not being able to practice.

6. Van Morrison reminds me of my childhood. Certain songs coming on my iTunes immediately conjure up images of my parents blasting it throughout the house while spring cleaning, a family road trip out West, or spending time up North at my grandparent's condo.

7. I am lucky to never be one of those girls who wants the type of hair she doesn't have. I love my curls, but I also appreciate that I can wear it straight when more convenient (aka for traveling.)

8. My roommates from summer made those 3 months some of the most fun I've ever had. I am so glad I got to know them and have maintained relationships with them even though two are in Minnepolis and one's in Bogota! How I miss my daily mantra of "Inappropriate!"......

9. One of my goals in life is to successfully run a marathon. I love running, especially outside, and wish the Midwest allowed this to be more feasible year round.

10. (If you don't know this one, you may live in a closet): I love babies. I find them a million times more appealing than animals and adore holding/looking at/snatching them from others (Daddy you know they always like me best.) Babysitting was pretty much my livelihood until college and I'm deeply attached to the kids I sat for. However, contrary to popular belief, my love for babies does not mean I want to have one of those creepy families with 20 kids who all have names starting with the same letter who I dress in the same color every day. My max is 3.

11. Along with the above, I am obsessed with my goddaughter. She is the most adorable child known to man. I think I want to maintain a relationship with her so much because I had such a great one with my godmother. Annie lived right next door but died of cancer when I was in 6th grade. Ava hasn't lived in MN for 2 years, but I want her to feel as if I was right next door.

12. I could absolutely complete the Gallon Challenge. I have never attempted it because I refuse to do anything that would ruin milk for me.

13. The only reason I could justify being appallingly and overwhelmingly rich is so I could own a condo in Keystone and spend late November til the first of April as a ski bum.

14. I secretly hate it when people don't change their profile pictures for months/years at a time.

15. Sports where no one runs into each other and/or falls down are boring. I enjoy watching soccer, football and hockey but find baseball and basketball to be generally useless. An exception to this rule is any Olympic sport, which I will watch based on the fact that it is the Olympics.

16. Arm scratches. Ali and I began this practice and I don't even remember why/when, but they are fabulous.

17. Keeping in touch with the people I care about is very important to me. The biggest challenge for me when first starting college was learning how to be ok with my high school friends having new lives I wasn't a part of. We've finally gotten that down, and I'm working on getting used to being away from my Madison loves while I'm here. I get irrationally upset when an e-mail/fbook message/post goes unanswered for more than a few days.

18. I genuinely enjoy wearing leggings. And I am from Minnesota.

19. Losing my Sign Language makes me sad. I wish I'd had a way to keep it up after high school, when I could actually carry on conversations. Now the content my 5 semesters of classes are pretty much forgotten due to lack of practice.

20. I hate spending money on services and not things. I find cab rides and going out to eat often unnecessary and excessive.

21. I fully acknowledge that I am sometimes too quick to judge people and decide I don't like them. Examples: telling me you're a Republican, using 'gay' in an inappropriate manner, or saying you didn't care enough to vote in the presidential election are all prime ways for me to decide you're a huge tool and not worth my time. Sometimes I'm right, but mostly I'm not.

22. John Mayer, Jason Mraz, the Fray and Guster have all had the pleasure of having me in attendance at 4 of their concerts. No, I do not get bored seeing the same performers over and over.

23. I am ridiculously and unabashedly obsessed with my birthday. Perhaps a bit of this obsession will be curbed by the fact that I am away from all of you this year for the first time, but I highly doubt it. This will probably only cause next year's mania to be even more pronounced. If you care to demonstrate you still love me even though I will not be there to remind you daily of the upcoming celebration, you can send me your love (or a birthday pie??) at the following address:
Teresa Welsh
Calle 13, no. 34-45
Los Pinos
Bucaramanga - Santander, Colombia
(Pei's sister sent her a package from Canada and it actually got here, and in two weeks no less.)

24. Passive aggression is my defense mechanism. I will often tell you I am not mad when I actually am, or that I'm fine when I'm really not. If you know me well I expect you to be able to see through this.

25. Tubing is a glorious summer sport. I could do it for hours on end and see any bruises sustained in the process as battle wounds.

Good thing I brought my own supply with me....

Hope it wasn't part of the contaminated batch....what would I do without my Skippy SuperChunk?!

But seriously...I heard nothing of this before I left. I find the article almost comical, that people are potentially being charged with crimes over peanut butter.

Peanut butter, I will never shun you.

A-mazing

I spent last night dancing at Angel Negro, Bucaramanga's local gay club (I'm not sure how but we seem to have fallen in with a large group of gay boys, all of whom I'm in love with.) There are flat screen TVs throughout the place that play music videos and they definitely played Shania Twain's "Man I feel like a Woman" which pretty much everyone knew the words to.It was fabulous.

A collective note to the Spanish Departments of my previous/current educational institutions:

...............EFF YOU.

I would like you all to know that the Spanish programs at your respective schools SUCK. I would generally like to think I'm fairly intelligent, and I have been taking Spanish constantly since 6th grade. This is a solid NINE AND A HALF YEARS of Spanish education. Yet some how I can barely manage to express my thoughts or contribute in any way to a conversation of deeper content than 'Hello how are you doing?' or 'I'm going out now, no I will not be returning for dinner.'

My grammar SUCKS. I have been taught every single aspect of Spanish grammar by your schools, most probably about 4 times, yet somehow it doesn't seem to have stuck. Yes, I haven't taken a grammar class in two years, so I suppose some brushing up is required. But seriously. How is it that I can complete countless grammar exercises and write a paper on the literary technique of vanguardismo (I don't even know what that IS in English) but I can't seem to say anything meaningful at the dinner table?

A word of advice on how to improve your Spanish programs that I am so shamelessly bashing: make your students SPEAK. Force them to open their mouths and emit words in SPANISH. Rap them strictly on the knuckles if even a thought threatens to be competed in English rather than Spanish (Catholic schools don't really have any nuns anymore, but if you did I'd expect a lot more knuckle-rapping.)

Also force them to LISTEN to native speakers. When people are talking slowerish so I can follow, I can pretty much get everything. If people are talking at a normal speed amongst themselves, I usually catch the general idea of what is going on and about 60% of the actual content. Other times people say things to me that I swear is Russian and not Spanish. Becoming accustomed to Spanish accents a la gringo does NO ONE ANY good. Senora is a native speaker but so freaking nice at least half the class was in English cuz she didn't have the heart to tell us to suck it up and speak in Spanish. And I don't even want to talk about the Spanish department in college, where I have only enjoyed ONE out of my five professors.

Some of the AIESECers here have complimented my Spanish. When this happens I politely smile and thank them, while inside my head thinking 'if you only knew how many Spanish classes I'd taken...you'd be appalled at my speaking ability.'

So, previous/current places I have gone to learn things.....You're all regarded as being excellent educational institutions. Please get your shit together.

With love,

Teresa

**Post has been edited from the original to be more future-job appropriate, as deemed by my father

My favorite Colombian Commercial

I don't know how this advertises for a bank but I like it.

My first day

So yesterday was my first day officially teaching. We got here too late to start with the last round of classes, so I started yesterday. And the only class (coincidentally) that was starting yesterday was Level 1. So that is what I got.

They usually don't give those not fluent in Spanish the lower levels, because if the students are confused it's harder for them to clarify. I understood most of what they said to me in Spanish and would answer anything they said in English. The Teacher's Book assures me that I'm supposed to talk to them in English as if they are understanding everything I'm saying, although obviously they do not. Only about 3 of them (out of 13) have ever had any English at all before. The class knows general stuff like colors, numbers, letters, but not much else. Most of my students are high schoolers, but I have 3 adults as well. It's very clear they have a much more difficult time understanding what's happening than the younger kids do.

I don't like being the center of attention or when everyone is looking at me. This is something I will need to quickly get over, since I will routinely have a dozen or so eyes on me at all times. Quite a few times I was tempted to burst out laughing in the middle of class because I felt so ridiculous standing there having people repeat the alphabet after me. It took me awhile to realize they probably didn't find it nearly as silly as I did because they're all genuinely trying to learn. Most of them are pretty timid and speak very quietly. I have to be about a foot way from them to hear what they're saying most of the time.

Saturday classes are 4 hours long (with a half hour break in the middle) so we covered the first two units of the book. Our class meets 7 times and the last day is the written and oral finals, so I only get 6 classes to actually teach them things. The books Colombo has the rights to are pretty shitty, which makes it rather difficult. Some of the expressions and pictures they have are so outdated and just ridiculous, NO ONE talks like that anymore. Apparently they don't want to spend the money to get new ones though, so I'm stuck with what we've got. I also find it difficult that the books are not bilingual. There are no vocab lists with direct translations, just vocab lists of English words. Students have to use the pictures, dialogues we listen to on CD and contextual clues to get what is going on. I kept trying to imagine learning Spanish in the manner they are trying to learn English and I couldn't see it going well.....Besides cognates, there aren't many clues for them as to what words mean.

This is going to be the most difficult class I'll have, I think, not only because it's my first one but just because they don't know enough to be getting much of what I say. Most of the time, I felt like I was talking to a wall for all the response/confirmation of comprehension I got. I'm hoping the classes I'll get during the week (starting next week) will be higher levels. They are more curious and generally more fun because they have the language base to communicate what they need to.

This is definitely going to be a learning experience.