Um, seriously?!

One of the strangest things I've ever read, here.

Does anyone think shit like this shouldn't be written about because it'll only give people ideas?

Slightly comforted

A stealth visit (disguised to my parents as a contact pick-up run) to the eye doctor confirms it: there is no contact floating around in my eye.

This begs the question......then where is it???

And why do I now get random headaches on my right temple, in close vicinity to the previously affected eye?

Also, things got slightly awkward when he asked me how I lost it. I told him I was crying (I left out the fact that I had been indulging in some beverages right before) but this didn't seem to satisfy him. He told me that my eye was slightly swollen, which can happen if you cry for several days straight, after a death in the family or "emotional problems." I assured him, no, I have not been upset lately.....I was crying a month ago, and no I do not have emotional problems. One of my friends graduated and was leaving and I was less than pleased. Thank you for checking though, Doctor.

At least he didn't give me a phone number to call.

I have found summer

In case you haven't, I will give you a clue as to where to find it. It can be found lakeside, sitting on colorful chairs, enjoying a pitcher or two, surrounded by good friends. Followed by a trip to Amy's :)

I finished class last Thursday, FINALLY!!! (Should probably have spent a bit more time focusing on it the past few weeks, I didn't get the best grade, whoops) Now, instead of going from class to the journal 3 days a week, I can sleep in and go to the journal 2 days a week, for 6 hours each. I FINALLY finished my first article and am moving on to my second one, on something that actually interests me. Hopefully this means it won't take me so long to finish.

After I finished class, I planned a much needed trip to the Pi Phi dock to take in the sun and bask in the glory of actually starting my summer. Acompanied by these roommates, we discovered my perfectly planned afternoon would not go down as such: the planks of the dock have been taken out because the water is so high. I was extremely distressed, but we managed to find a place to lay by the terrace. Semi-awkward and not really what I had in mind, but oh well.

We've laid out 3 days in a row, had a 3 night run going at both the terrace and Amy's (where all my roommates are on a first-name basis with the staff, and where Daniel got me out of line and in the door right away when I came to meet them.)

With a John Mayer concert and a couple of cabin weekends in the near future, accompanied by the revelation that my boss at Come Back actually likes me (he doesn't like many people) and I may not get fired for taking so much time off, life is glorious.

This is no Wisconsin Trap

One of the things AIESEC prides itself the most on is the relationships we form. With others in our LC, with other US @ers at ROKS and national conferences, and of course with other AIESECers from around the world. At GMM, we're not allowed to sit next to someone we know, to help all 115 of us get to know one another. At conferences, we share rooms with students from other universities and are constantly told to "put ourselves out there" and "talk to someone new." And of course on our traineeships, we go to a place we've never been to before, to live with people we've never met before, and do things we've never done before.

We constantly talk about building out network and keeping in touch with those we've met. We find people at conferences who we are best friends with for 5 days and then attempt to keep in touch with after, between class and AIESEC stuff and work and other friends. We're all about meeting new people all the time, and bonding with them.

Sometimes, though, what I feel we're really about, is leaving. When your group of best friends is intent on promoting cultural understanding through international exchange, this ultimately means leaving. Leave Madison. Leave your home. Leave your friends. Leave your confort zone. Leave the country. Leave the hemisphere. Leave the anglophone world. Just leave.

And if you aren't leaving, something must be wrong with you.

I feel like we're taught to form all these deep relationships with AIESECers and other people in our lives, but we're also taught that we ought to be able to drop it all, in favor of leaving. And while leaving does ultimately mean exciting and new and fabulous things that WILL change the world, it also means that you and one of your best friends both look like meth adicts for several days, due to crying puffy eye syndrome and lack of sleep. It also means a deeper saddness, that will take more than a few days or weeks to wear off. It also means wondering if you'll ever see the people you've left ever again or if good-bye was really good-bye, not just see you later. (Bonus: it also means a kitchen full of delicious dips, baked chocolate items and CHEESE.)

But really....I'm not saying we should all stay in Madison for the rest of our lives, because eventually that would get boring and would not allow us to do all the things we want. I'm just saying that when most people you know's ideal lives see them in some far-flung corner of the world, life can hurt.

That is all I'm saying.

I just aged 5 years

me: i have been homesick lately, which is weird because i know i'd be going CRAZY if i were at home. i had some friends in town this past weekend to go to the mexico/peru game in chicago but everyone couldn't come and it was depressing. i feel old.

Chris: you can't help but love minnesota. and yeah, i feel old too. really old. really really really old...

me: and i know i'm not missing things at home...i've talked to friends there (basically everyone but brenna is there) and they like aren't hanging out. everyone just does their own thing. it's WEIRD. i'm used to everyone spending every second together. i don't waaaaaaaaaant to be this old

Chris: we're in our twenties now. we have adult jobs and have to do adult things and make adultish decisions...

me: and i don't like it. i mean i do like the independence part, duh who doesn't. but the rest of it....not a fan. like having to say bye to people who you may not see again for years. people you actually care about-i suck at good-byes.

Chris: i've found i'm incredibly good at them. i figure i don't want people to be upset because i'm somewhere else, so i'm okay with others being somewhere else. it's selfish to say things like "i wish you were here" and stuff like that. life wouldn't be as much of an adventure

me: that is true.but i definitely still say wish you were here.....especially when i know people aren't happy where they're at and THEY wish they could be somewhere else too...like my best friend at home. her family's crazy and all she wants is to get out. so i don't feel selfish telling her to come here.

Chris: well that's different. i mean when adam leaves or when kevin took off or when wren flew out yesterday. it's not fair to them to say "i miss you where here" because i would never wish i was in madison instead of nigeria or togo or oman... and being sad about it doesn't change a thing so you just gotta roll with it and make your situation as best as possible given the circumstances.you should have your friend sublet here or something

me: she has a job at home and just wants to go back to st. louis....but i want her to come visit. i know togo oman and nigeria are exciting and every time i read ppl's blogs i get this huge pang in my stomach because i feel like i'm missing something....but still, i like it here. i like my friends here and my apartment and the lake and the terrace and the paper and my dock. i might not be changing the world but i still feel like i'm having an experience. i'm going abroad next spring and it will be fabulous. but spending an afternoon drinking on bascom with great friends was pretty fabulous too.

Chris: i know what you mean. i can't wait to get out and about, but you gotta love madison and a summer in madison is next on my list of things to do in life. really i think it's just this goddamn job that has me down all day everydayi feel like the world is passing by and i just sitting here waiting to go and try to catch up each night

me: i agree....with class and my internship and my job, i have entirely full days....i know i'd be bored if i had nothing but i still feel like i haven't been able to have much FUN this summer. and isn't that what summer in madison is about?!? having fun and chilling and being with your friends and not worrying about anything?

Chris: so i was told.

me: as was i. bitches.

Sure, I will be in a picture with you. Or twelve.

My journey to Chicago yesterday for the Mexico vs. Peru friendly soccer game was probably one of the most fun things I have ever done. My friend Luis (grew up in Mexico) had never seen his national team play, so he got us tickets and then roadtripped to Madison with our other friend. They got here on Saturday and we all had a little Madison fun (my night ended up not to be so fun; I walked home in a torrential downpour.)

We left Madison yesterday afternoon after Bunna and I got off work (made $69 yesterday, SCORE, wait, I mean GOL!) We didn't realize until we were halfway there that the game started at 7, not in fact at 8 like we had previously thought. This was post-Oasis food stop (I LOVE the Oasises on the trip to Chicago. I can't exactly pinpoint what is so great about a skyway over the freeway that sells all sort of fat-tastic foods, but it's pretty fabulous) so we realized we really had to hurry. We also realized our directions weren't exactly right, so we had to make a few calls to some Chicago residents to obtain correct ones.

We found Soldier Field easy enough after exiting the freeway (it's rather large and hard to miss) but had some trouble getting near enough to park. One huge loop out of the way later, we rolled up to the correct parking garage where they were charging THIRTY DOLLARS to park for the game. THIRTY DOLLARS. To stop your car. In a cement structure. For under 2 hours. REALLY?!?! Good thing there were 5 of us in the car, so that made it a slightly more reasonable $6 per person.

We left Molly at an entrance to wait for her bro (she bought tickets separate but rode down with us) and literally ran to the other side of the stadium to pick up our tickets at Will Call. Bunna and I eventually stopped running and decided to let the boys run and wait in line. When we got there they handed us our tickets and we walked in. At about 7:30. Whoops.

Now, I would say we all fit right in, proudly sporting our green Mexico jersies (Bunna and I both own one, Andrew borrowed one of Luis'), if it weren't for the fact that we were 3 of probably about 20 white people there. While we were obviously supporting Mexico (Andrew likened it to Quidditch), we still got PLENTY of stares. A group of probably about 30-year-old Mexican men chased after us and demanded several photos with us. Bunna got one with a guy wearing a huge sombrero and I had the same photo taken of me and this other guy on a camera AND on a cellphone. Who knew being white made you so photo-worthy.


We got there in time to see about the last 8 minutes of the first half. Mexico: 4 Peru: 0. There were only a handful of Peruvian fans, which makes sense because Chicago probably doesn't have a heavy Peruvian population. I do think that the entire Mexican population of Chicago and all surrounding areas was there. Looking across the seats around the stadium, EVERYTHING was green (with red and white.) There were only a few more Peruvian fans than there were white people.

The second half went way too quickly, with no goals. There were a couple close shots, but it turns out we didn't get to see any goals! Rather disappointing because Mexico had made 4 in the first half. Oh well, just being there was worth it. Soldier Field is an open stadium and the rain held off until we were 20 minutes out of the city, so we didn't even get wet. After the game was over, we all stood around outside for awhile, amidst hoards of chanting and cheering Mexican fans. Brenna and I kept saying over and over "I don't WANT to leave!" The drive there and back took more time than we had actually spent IN Chicago. While we were walking back around the stadium to meet Molly, we were in a huge crowd of Mexico fans all shouting "MEXICO! MEXICO!!" I turned to Luis and said, "Are you happy?" He nodded and said, "I feel at home."

It took us about a half an hour after leaving the parking garage to make it to the freeway since we needed a pit stop for gas and then got lost. Right after we got out of the city, the temperature literally dropped 15 degrees (we had had all the windows and sunroof open) and it started POURING. I missed most of it after that because I feel asleep. No surprise there. My family always jokes that I have car narcolepsy, because of my inability to stay awake for a car ride that lasts longer than 25 minutes.

I was exhausted at class and WSJ today, but it was SO worth it!!

I take my moderate enthusiasm back

So my indifference towards laying outside on Bascom last Saturday was EXTREMELY remiss.

After a complicated series of events, that started with laying on Bascom with these kids, followed by a run-in with this one, several runs to the store and home, we spent a GLORIOUS afternoon enjoying some beverages on Bascom and watching the sun set. For some reason Joel and Chris thought drinking out of plastic cups would make us more inconspicuous, and it turns out that no one paid the slightest bit of attention to us. Even after Daniel sprinted over to Music Hall to talk to some people he knew going to a concert there. And even after our multiple trips to the bathroom in said Music Hall.

I would have to say that afternoon on the Hill was one of my Top 5 Favorite Madison Moments. I think summer here is growing on me.....